


Therapy: Lloyd

by Penguin1502



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lloyd is Traumtized, Lloyd says damn, Men Crying, Minor panic attack, reference to character deaths in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16377812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguin1502/pseuds/Penguin1502
Summary: (Takes place after season 9 Hunted) After being betrayed by his father and Harumi, Lloyd begins to have trust issues with the team and has become traumatized from the events. After a discussion, the team decides to send Lloyd to see a psychologist to help him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a tumblr post of mine, I thought I would place it in here and see what would happen. The story was inspired by art by Spaacepilot on Tumblr

Lloyd opened his eyes groaning at the noise of his cell phone setting off an alarm to get out of bed. He reached for it sitting on the nightstand next to his bed turning off the alarm, before rolling over on his back. It’s Thursday, isn’t it? After cursing under his breath, Lloyd rolled out of bed and onto the floor of his bedroom in the temple. It was then he heard a couple of knocks on his door.

“Wakey, wakey, Mr. Green ninja. It’s time to get up and get dressed, Zane almost has breakfast ready” Jay’s cheerful voice was muffled through the door.

“I’m already awake Jay, I set alarms you know. But thank you, I’ll be down in no more than 15 minutes” Lloyd sighed. Despite it being Thursday, not Saturday he remembered it was Zane’s morning to cook breakfast, as scheduled. During the week in the household, each of the ninja were assigned meal days, and Zane had Thursday much to his relief it wasn’t Cole cooking. Lately, breakfast had been added to their routine as a way to build more strength. as he finally got to his feet and went into his bathroom, brushing his teeth and hair before going back to his room near his dresser. He opened the top middle drawer and grabbed black jeans, a green t-shirt, and a green hoodie. He then got dressed and proceeded down the stairs into the kitchen. Upon arriving downstairs, Lloyd took a deep breath from the kitchen as it smelled of bacon, eggs, and waffles. He shuffled into the room where his other teammates were sitting at the table each with a mug of coffee, except for Zane who was by the stove finishing off some eggs he had fried.

“Morning Lloyd” Kai sighed to him, Lloyd noticed the presence of the night-owl in the room as he went to go fill a green mug with coffee for himself.

“Oh, uh….morning Kai” He muttered quickly as he sat at the table next to Nya, with a chair empty to his right. It was finally then that Zane came behind him with a plate full of waffles, and a plate of bacon and eggs with a smile on his face.

“Breakfast is served. I need to go grab my tea, and I shall join you” Zane walked away as the other four ninjas around began eating the hot food, Lloyd was quick to grab a few things including two slices of bacon, a waffle and 2 fried eggs from the plate and began to eat it slowly watching the way the other four interacted quietly. He wasn’t much of a speaker when it came to really anyone including his team which was as close to him as family. Before Lloyd knew it, he felt some brushing his shoulder, startling him. “Apologizes, Lloyd.” the person who mistakenly touched him was Zane as he sat down in the empty seat next to him before he grabbed food for himself.

“No problem, you just startled me” After stating that Lloyd stayed silent for the rest of the meal and watched as the other ninja spoke with one another, Cole Kai and Zane engaging in conversation while Jay and Nya weren’t super talkative but they held hands as they ate. Lloyd closed his eyes for a second as he stared at the three friends talking, he wanted so desperately to join in with them as they spoke of dragons in the realm of Oni and Dragon. But when he tried to open his mouth, he was immediately stopped.

 ** _Why bother joining?!! You don’t even know what they are talking about, you weren’t even there._** A voice spoke in his head scaring him greatly, his heart beat faster and he could feel sweat forming on his hands. Lloyd took a deep breath to himself before looking at the couple across the room holding hands.

 ** _You want that don’t you? Your desire for someone is so ridiculous, that you fell for Harumi despite the red flags being everywhere. You don’t deserve it, it will only happen again, they will use you cause you are the green ninja. If you just so happen to be near the green ninja, let alone in a relationship with him, you will be famous no matter what. You don’t deserve real love, Lloyd!_** Before the presence of this new voice made him feel any more uncomfortable with the others, Lloyd scraped the rest of what was left of his breakfast into his mouth and brought his dishes to the sink. He washed them by hand, before walking through the dining room before heading back up to his room.

“Hey, bud! You excited for the big celebration tonight?” the voice of one of the ninja again startled him making him freeze. This time it was Jay who scared him.

“What celebration?” Lloyd stuttered.

“The celebration of the end of Sons of Garmadon’s reign on the city that’s happening in the city, remember?” Jay continued.

“You mean the end to my father’s reign on the city” He moaned out, making the room silent. “I’m sorry, I guess the Sons of Garmadon were a big problem here in Ninjago, so I guess it’s a great celebration” Lloyd muttered out, before running up the stairs into his room. He slammed the door behind him locking it, before sitting on his bed. Lloyd ran his fingers through his hair, sighing softly.

**You’re a moron!! Why did you even try to say something! Now they are angry at you for being dramatic!!! “They’re probably not mad at me, I am just sensitive about my father is all,” Lloyd whispered to himself out loud. That’s a horrible excuse! You’re so oversensitive Lloyd!! Your father is in jail, just move on. They all have already! He’s not even the man you remember. You need to move on Lloyd.**


	2. Getting Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new voice in Lloyd's head continues to get worse as he recalls the events that happened with S.O.G, Harumi and his father, and the others start to notice his seclusive behavior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Yay!

 Lloyd attempted to ignore the voices in his head as he got into his clothing for training and went outside of the temple to go for his morning jog. Before everything with Sons of Garmadon, and Harumi, Lloyd would on a daily basis jog a loop that went through the city that was about 5 miles and now he was glad to be able to return to doing it. Normally he would take his ipod and headphones with him and listen to his rock music as he moved, however he had forgotten to plug it into the wall the night before and the battery was low. Cursing under his breath, Lloyd opted out of not bringing his music with him, despite it giving him comfort. He sighed before going out the door, and beginning his jog through the city.

     As he began, he watched the neighborhood outside of the city begin to wake as he saw store owners flip around their “CLOSED” signs to “OPEN” and swept the dust from the door steps of the shops. At the houses big and small, Lloyd saw parents biding their children farewell as they dreaded the idea of going to school. Lloyd would even sometimes see smaller children no older than two or three playing in sandboxes and in small treehouses in their front yard.

_**You didn’t get that because you weren’t worthy of it. Your only purpose was to be a hero, and look at you now. You could have an education, you could have had a childhood, you could have had a family. But you weren’t given that, because you’re “special”. All these people look up to you, but unfortunately you’re nothing more than a coward with these abilities you don’t deserve.** _

    It was then that Lloyd realized he stopped in front of an old tea shop, the one Mistake had owned before his father killed her. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands, before walking into the old store. Opening the door, he saw the dusty room filled with shelves full of tea, and a counter with a cash register.

_**It’s your fault she’s gone. If you and Skylor hadn’t left her alone with Garmadon, she’d still be here!** _

     Lloyd before anything got any worse, grabbed some of the teas threw it into his small bag and ran out the door onto the sidewalk getting back to his jog. However the negative thoughts of the tea lady continued in his head.

    Lloyd jogged through the city heading towards the larger buildings.He watched as he saw countless people wandering the streets with nowhere to go. He watched the destroyed apartments remembering the ultimate demise of his once “lover”. 

 ** _You could have saved them, you could have prevented Harumi’s parents from dying but you didn’t. She was right, you aren’t a hero, you’re just a JOKE!_** Getting angry with himself, he stopped at the halfway point of the jog instead of finishing it. He ran home practically gasping from running, but this time it felt ten times worse. Why did even when he stopped running and sat down for half an hour did he still have this feeling of one of a marathon runner. Sitting on a step that lead up to the temple, Lloyd tried collecting himself but could barely get himself breathing correctly.

**_Why didn’t you do anything Lloyd?!! Why didn’t stop the great devourer from hurting and killing those innocent people?! There are going to be more of Harumi, more children who will hate you and the others, and it’s all your fault because you just hid away your face instead of facing your father!!_ **

     “Lloyd? Are you okay?” a voice startled him. Lloyd hadn’t even realized that Kai had the door open behind him.

    “Tough jog that’s all!” Lloyd stated quickly, attempting to avoid conversation with his teammate. 

   “You’ve been sitting here for 30 minutes and you’re still out of breath” Kai sat down next to him with a face of concern.

   “Honestly, Kai. I’m fine” He mistakenly snapped. “I gotta go” he finished as he made his way into the house and up the stairs. He wanted to go to his room away from everyone else and especially away from the problems  _he_ caused.


	3. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally has a chat about Lloyd and his seclusiveness

The next morning came, the rest of the ninja had gone to the party without Lloyd and while it was great, they were sad that their leader didn’t come with them and all four of them secretly for months had discovered Lloyd’s strange habits of wanting to be alone. They were all concerned about him but were scared to speak up and ask Lloyd if he was okay in fear they would offend him. However one morning enough was enough for them. It was still early and not everyone was awake yet, it was just Zane, Kai, Jay and Nya at the table sipping at their coffees.

     “Now that just about everyone is here, I want you all to be aware of a discovery I have seemed to make since the four of us returned from the realm of the oni and dragon” Zane broke the silence, looking at the other’s faces.

    “Lloyd being angsty and seclusive , yes I have definitely noticed it” Jay blurted out.

     “Okay, I’m glad I’m not the only one. It was like as if he was panicking when I saw him on the steps of the temple yesterday. He sat out there for 30 minutes and he still couldn’t seem to catch his breath, it’s either he’s severely out of shape or he was upset about something” Kai stated.

     “Well if you weren’t such  _a clueless moron all of the time_ , you would notice that Lloyd isn’t at all out of shape, why even mention such an option?” Zane questioned with the insult shining through the conversation.

   _“Geek squad, no wait more like squadless geek?_  Get it? No, okay” Kai attempted an insult towards Zane.

    “Alright, we’re getting off topic here. What do you think is wrong with Lloyd, based on your observations Zane?” Nya finally broke the insult game between the fire and ice ninja, returning to the concern the four of them had.

    “I have a theory that Lloyd may be struggling with thoughts of his father, and with everything that happened with the city and Harumi” Zane stopped looking at the other three people in the room “It seems to me that Lloyd is likely emotionally traumatized from the events that have occured during the battles with Sons of Garmadon”.

    “Are you implying that Lloyd has developed a mental issue?” Nya interrupted  Zane right where he was.

    “I do not wish to jump to conclusions, but I have noticed that Lloyd speaks less to us as he has gotten older. Also outside of us, he does not speak to anyone and does not seem interested in making friends. He feels that he struggles to fit in among other people, so keeps to himself. Lloyd also likely could have some trust issues, but maybe it is just us worrying about Lloyd, because we care a lot about him and we did practically raise him” Zane explained.

    “Zane’s right, maybe we should try talking to Lloyd before we confirm the situation. Maybe he’s unaware of it, maybe he does just enjoys being alone. Maybe if Lloyd  needs to talk to a professional to see if it’s anything serious, he would just schedule something” Kai stated.

    “Talk to a professional about what?” Lloyd had entered the room as Kai finished his statement.  The room fell silent, but Jay smiled at Lloyd.

“Hey Lloyd, just the ninja we wanted to chat with. So how are you doing?” Jay asked.

“Kai, what are you talking about? What do I need to see a professional about Kai?” Lloyd snapped angrily.

“Lloyd, we have noticed a seclusiveness displayed by you within the last few years since you lost your father.” Zane made the topic of the conversation looking at Lloyd from the back of his chair.

“I mean, come on Lloyd! You hardly have a social life outside of being a ninja, and like with any other normal job, that technically doesn’t count because we’re more family than friends, and you don’t even talk to us 90% of the time. We’re concerned about” Kai made known to the other ninja.

“Kai you dunce, the way you phrased it isn’t helping him” Nya insulted.

“I’m fine, Kai! I have no idea why you four are worried so much about me. And even if there was something up, I have to be an example to the youth of Ninjago!” Lloyd’s voice cracked, tears threatening his eyes.

“ You’re human, Lloyd!! Like everyone else in ninjago, you have physical pain, you need to have the same right of emotional health, especially with the traumatizing life you have being a ninja!! You’re allowed to talk to a professional about stabilizing your emotional health and get the help you need” Nya stated calmly.

“But I don’t need help!! Okay, I don’t know what has gotten into you four, but right now Cole’s my favorite” Lloyd felt anger continue to well up inside him, his face turning red.

“He feels the same way, Lloyd!! We all do.  He’s been looking for psychologists in the area, this has been on his mind for a month now. It has been on all of us, but we just realized now that we all felt the same way. Lloyd, we think you need to talk to someone” Jay finished for his girlfriend. After that statement, Lloyd in a mixture of anger and embarrassment, fled up the stairs and into his room slamming the door shut behind him. He flopped onto his belly on his bed.

**_Great job Lloyd, you have only made yourself an invalid they have to take care of. You don’t need help, you have dealt with this alone for this long, why try to fix it now?!! It’s too late!!!_ **

It was then that a knock on his door startled him.

“Lloyd?” a muffled voice rang through his door.

“Go away!!” Lloyd mumbled.

“It’s Cole, I’m alone. I just want to talk” Lloyd rolled his eyes.

“Alright come in” He sighed. Cole entered the room, he had a face of concern. He sat down on the bed next to him. Lloyd then sat up and scooted away from him on the bed avoiding eye contact. “So it’s true? You and the others? You want me to see a psychologist?” Lloyd softly questioned the other person in the room.

“I know you just don’t want people to worry about you, and you think that you can completely take care of yourself, you sometimes can’t do that. You need a team, you need someone to notice the things you don’t, a different perspective. If it makes you feel any better, we didn’t just schedule one and expect you to go, we wanted to see if you were comfortable with going before making you an appointment. Listen we all care about you Lloyd, you’re like a brother to us.  We just want you to feel more comfortable, because emotionally and physically, it’s not easy being the hero all the time. You know, a lot of well addressed heroes go to therapy, for a little while both Zane and I went to therapy to help with some of our emotional trauma, matter of fact. You can still go to see the same one we did” Cole smiled and patted Lloyd on the shoulder “but it’s only if you’re comfortable with doing it and talking to someone”. Lloyd looked around. For years, he had a voice in his head that told him he would be an embarrassment to the rest of the team and his emotional problems would be considered a weakness to others around him. But if  Zane and Cole two of the strongest people on the team, the two he looked up to despite being the leader of the ninja alliance, went to therapy then maybe it would work the same for him. And also, the others would feel better about Lloyd if he would try to talk through his past with someone else, because they wouldn’t have to worry as much about his health.

“Alright, I’ll give it a try” Lloyd sighed. Cole smiled and nodded, pleased at the outcome of their conversation.


	4. "Unique Practices"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Lloyd's first therapy appointment arrives, however his psychologist is anything but normal.

   After Lloyd and Cole’s conversation in his bedroom, Cole the next day had set up an appointment with the therapist he had spoken about with Lloyd. In the following days, Lloyd had dreaded the day of when he would have to chat with a complete stranger. That’s basically what it was, right?

     _ **Why are we even doing this?! Talking through your past and deep corners of your life  with a complete stranger! What on earth were you thinking of when you said you would try to Cole?! Maybe we can lie and things can go back to the way things were, when they weren’t concerned all the time.**_

     Lloyd sighed, as he stared at his bed thinking about all this. He was not excited for the night ahead, for tomorrow was the day he was going to talk with a therapist that Cole and Zane recommended.

**_You don’t even know their name and within two seconds of talking to them, you’re going to unleash your secrets like the serpentine._ **

    “Lloyd?” a voice scared him out of his thoughts. He just now noticed that he was breathing quickier and his hands were shaking. Lloyd turned around and saw Zane standing by the door with a concerned expression, a cup in his hand. “ Are you alright? Your heart rate is abnormally quick. Are you experiencing anxiety?” Zane asked. Lloyd clenched his hands and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath.

    “I’m just nervous. I mean, I haven’t even met this person and they’re going to learn about my secrets Zane, they’re a complete stranger to me.” He took another deep breath, before sitting on his bed.

    “I promise Lloyd, there is none I recommend more than this psychologist. Once you  _break the ice_  with him, you will be able to open up easier” Zane finished his sentence empathizing the joke about his element. Lloyd found himself smiling and giggling under his breath.

“I guess that kind of helps, thanks Zane. Good night” Lloyd said.

“Good night to you as well, try not to stay up too late” Zane replied before leaving for his room.

_Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!!!!_  Lloyd moaned as he reached from his bed for his cell phone before turning the alarm off. He laid in bed for a second, closing his eyes sighing. Again, Lloyd rolled out of bed and onto the floor, he got onto his feet and went immediately doing his morning routine, except instead of getting into his jogging clothes, he got into a casual outfit. His appointment with his therapist was earlier in the morning after breakfast. After finishing, he walked down the stairs hearing the banter coming from the dining room. All the other ninja were awake and peppy sipping at their coffee (or tea if you count Zane).

    “Morning Lloyd” Nya was the first to notice Lloyd entering.

     “Morning Nya” he smirked at her as he went for the coffee maker, pouring the black liquid into his green mug. The nervousness of the session came back to him, his hands shaking a tad, before Zane laid his own on one of them.

    “It is going to be okay” He smiled with comfort as he walked back toward the table. Lloyd smiled back as he sat down at the table enjoying the banter of his family silently.

    After the meal was completed and the dishes beginning to be cleaned by Kai the person who made breakfast, Cole looked at Lloyd.

    “It’s time to go alright?” Cole smiled. Lloyd said nothing, he just nodded and followed him out the door the others watching them leave. As Lloyd closed the door behind him, he sighed following his friend to the car. He watched from the window of the car as the temple with his other friends inside faded away as Cole drove.

    During the ride through the city, the pair were quiet. Lloyd was watching the buildings go by, the thoughts of negativity going through his head.

**_Why are you still doing this?! You can still leave, just tell him to turn around! You don’t need this! You’re fine!! You don’t need this! You’re the green ninja!!! You don’t need this!! You’ll be a bad example!! ESCAPE!!!_ **

    Lloyd gulped and looked at Cole. The car had stopped, parked in a driveway leading into a 2 story apartment building as he could see. The two opened their doors simultaneously and stepped out of the vehicle and began to walk towards the building. Cole opened the door for Lloyd and allowed him to go first. The two walked into a room that seemed like it had a normal therapy room attire.

    “Up the stairs” Cole smiled at Lloyd, as he started for the stairs and continued to the second floor, Lloyd shaking as he followed. When the two got to the top floor, it was a hallway and in the hallway there was a bench. Cole continued to walk forward until he saw a door open on the left and a closed door on the right. Cole pointed to the open door and Lloyd followed him inside.

_Oh my gosh._  Lloyd’s jaw dropped as he saw the inside of the room. The room was small, it had a couch similar to ones you’d see in the movies and another chair in front of the couch. He continued observing the room looking at the strange nick-knacks on a small shelf, cartoon posters on the wall and a pineapple lamp on one of the tables next to the couch.

   “This had better be a joke…” Lloyd frowned.

   “I know what you’re thinking, he’s not a children’s therapist!” Cole attempted to explain.

**_What did you just get yourself into?! Cole’s gotta to be joking!!_ **

   “Hear me out, Lloyd. Sit down” Cole sat down on the couch and gestured Lloyd to sit next to him. Lloyd rolled his eyes, but sat down with him. “Listen, don’t judge this person when you haven’t even met him yet. I had a great experience with him and so did Zane. Please Lloyd, give him a chance. He has fantastic reviews, his practices are little unique….” Cole had a nervous smile on his face, and raised his eyebrows.

   “Unique?! What’s that supposed to mean?” Lloyd noticed that Cole had gotten up from the couch and was heading for the door still facing him.

    “I don’t know, you’ll know when he gets here, I see you in an hour” Cole gave him a comforting look before leaving.

   “Don’t leave me….” Lloyd managed to mumble out. It was then that his heart started pounding in his chest.

**_What does he mean “unique”?!! Cole, what did you just get me into?!!_ **

_No, Lloyd, you got this. He’s good, he’s a professional. Just relax!_

**RELAX?!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT YOURSELF TO RELAX?!!!!**

_Just breathe, Lloyd. Do it for them, your real father would want you to do this, your mother wants you to do this, your family the ninja want you to do this. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO DO THIS._

Lloyd finally took a deep breath and attempted to get more comfortable in his seat.

“It’s the moment, you’ve been waiting for!!!” a voice startled Lloyd coming from outside the room. What terrified Lloyd even more was that through the doorway a hand was coming into the room. “Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- da-da-da-da-daa” as the figure sang, he slowly came into the room, making a “grand enterance”. “Da-da-da-da-da-da-daa Da-da-da-la-da-da-da-da-da-da- da-da-da-da-daa, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa, tssshh Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa-da-da a-da-daa, Ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ti-ti-ta-ta-ta- la-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba- ba-ba-da-la-ba-ba-baa, Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-taa, Ti-ta-ti-li” The person stopped to breathe as he sang too much but continued immediately after “Ti-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li- ta-ti-li-ta-ti-li-ti-ta-ti-ti- ta-ti-ti-taaaaa”. After he finished singing the phrase from spongebob, the man sat in the chair in front of Lloyd. The therapist had a mixture of purple and brown hair, he wore a tan sweater and had a tie that matched the green ninja’s gi on occasions. “New patient, do you how do?” the man smiled at Lloyd.

**_Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon what have you just gotten yourself into?!_ **


	5. Dr. Picani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of staying quiet about his feelings, Lloyd finally has his first therapy appointment with Dr. Picani

 Lloyd sat staring at his therapist in complete shock at his entrance, he shook his head and blinked for second.

     “Do you how do?” he repeated. Lloyd didn’t know how to answer.

     “I’m okay I guess” Lloyd managed to release from his mouth.

     “Excellent! I’m Dr. Picani and you must be Lloyd Garmadon, correct or did I mess something up again. Wouldn’t be the first time this week….” He winked.

     “No, no you have it right I’m Lloyd” Lloyd smiled at Dr. Picani.

    “Excellent Lloyd, so let me just get my notebook out” He reached into his pocket, he pulled out a short pencil from having been sharpened and a small notebook that fit in his hand. “Lloyd, have you ever been to therapy?” Dr. Picani smiled at him.

   “No I haven’t, it’s a first for me” Lloyd answered honestly.

    “So, why did you think you needed to come to therapy?” Picani looked at him with a puzzled face as he kept looking up and down from his notes.

    “I don’t know, my friends, well they’re more like family to me really wanted me to talk to someone about my seclusiveness that seems unhealthy to them. They also believe that with the job I have as being the green ninja, I am very traumatized from everything that’s happened on the missions. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, but they seem to see things I don’t. I’m just scared of wasting anyone’s time with things that happened in the past, I just don’t think anyone would listen and they can’t change anything that happened” Lloyd explained as he stared at the floor, he felt his face turn red.

     “Well, I think your “family” has made a step in the right direction by advising you to go to therapy. Despite the world having a lot of good, there is also a lot of bad. Sometimes we pretend that the only bad things there are are the dangerous ones, and you believe your feelings aren’t a dangerous thing. Lloyd, can you tell me about your life? Your childhood” Picani continued on. Lloyd then looked up, he swallowed before beginning to answer his question.

     “I thought since, you know you live here in the city you would already know a lot about me, I am the green ninja” Lloyd answered.

     “Well I may know about Lloyd the green ninja, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know about Lloyd Garmadon or Lloyd the real human person, who has individual struggles like everyone else. So, for the sake of getting to know the real Lloyd. During the sessions unless it’s you explaining part of your story, I would like you to explain as if you are just Lloyd a normal human like everyone else who just has a rough job. Are you okay with that?” Picani explained.

     “Yes, certainly” Lloyd nodded, kind of confused by what Picani meant.

     “Great, so, Lloyd. Can you tell me about your childhood? Your friends, your family, your education?” Picani asked still smiling. Lloyd stopped for a moment.

**_Great, now you have to tell him! This is what you were dreading, why did you do this in this first place?!! You’re alone!! You’re…._ **

Lloyd used one hand to stop the other from shaking. He cleared his throat.

    “My parents met and fell in love. My mother found out she was pregnant for me after dating my father for 5 years. When I was about 2 years old, she left me and my father behind. When I was old enough, my father sent me away to “Darkly’s Boarding  School for Bad Boys” and I was there until I ran away from the school at about 8 years old. My father was also never really there for me, especially after I left  the boarding school, for about a year after that I caused some trouble for my friends, may or may have not released all the serpentine tribes, and got captured a couple times. But the final time I was captured and rescued, my father sort  of tried to come back into my life, however my relationship with him only got worse. It was during his return, my uncle, my team and I figured out my fate and the unfortunate destiny that was that of facing my father. He stayed a little while afterward, but he said some things, I said some things I’m still not proud of and he left me again. I was then made to start training, and I grew older, I didn’t really have a childhood, didn’t really have friends outside of my team and didn’t really have parents. When I was older about 16 or 17 years old, I finally met my mother. As you could have imagined, I was angry, angry that she left me alone, angry for the reasons why! It was because of my destiny, it wasn’t because of me!! She seemed to only cared about my fate and destiny, not about me” Lloyd heard his voice crack. He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry…..Picani, my parents aren’t all bad. There are times in my life that my parents were great people, who cared about me and wanted what was best for me, but then there were times like what I just described where they just left me without a family. That changed everything I thought about myself. I wanted to grow up to be like my father because that was the only life I felt I knew. When I fought my father, he wasn’t my father just the shell of the man that was my father. But when the evil inside of him was “killed”, I realized I wanted to be what my father was, for real. A man who knew his mistakes already, a man who wanted to change his decision and a man who wanted me to break the boundaries of my abilities. My mother was now this woman who wanted the best for me, the woman who told me to choose my fate, the woman who told me life is worth fighting for. For a while, I believed that” Lloyd continued but with his eyes closed.

       “So you found yourself having a relationship with your father and mother” Picani said with a little pep in his voice.

       “Yeah, it was like that. For a while. However, my father made a decision that ultimately ended the person I knew. My mother became separated from me again, as if she stopped trying and I tried to accept that this was my life now, that I was an adult, that I didn’t need that love anymore” Lloyd looked up at Picani who had stopped writing in his notebook. “But deep down inside of me, I never stopped wanting it. For a while after that, I was content. But the cycle of desire start all over again, just over a year ago, I met Princess Harumi. She was the most kind, loving and beautiful woman I had ever met. She was a lot like me, lost her parents, felt like she was forced into something she didn’t want, wanted to be more than what destiny had laid out for her. I trusted her with my past, my feelings, everything. But the red flags were there, I felt it in my gut that she wasn’t the person I thought she was and ultimately she betrayed my trust, she was using me. The Harumi I knew died that day. She brought my father back with the oni mask, and he was the same man I knew from my childhood, but this time, he wanted to hurt me, he disowned me as his son. I have never trusted anyone since then, and I have never said anything like this to my teammates, I couldn’t trust them” Lloyd realized tears were in his eyes. He now knew exactly what his friends were talking about when they wanted to send him here to Picani. He had emotional problems, he had trust issues, he had social anxiety, and most of all he was traumatized from his past. Lloyd’s realization made him begin crying in his hands. “I’m sorry” he had forgotten for a time that Dr. Picani was still listening and had seen everything including his emotional breakdown. He turned his head up and saw that he was holding a tissue.

     “Here’s a tissue, let’s work out some issues” Picani Smiled at Lloyd giving him some reassurance.

     “Thanks” Lloyd sniffled.

      “Lloyd, after listening to what you have to say about your childhood and your daily struggles, I have come to believe that you have trouble maintaining relationships with friends, family and love interests. You seem scared of meeting new people, especially when it comes to opening up to people, did you start having problems like that before you met Harumi?” Picani asked.

     “Yes, and it only got worse after everything happened. After everything with Sons of Garmadon, I as my friends said became quiet and seclusive. I didn’t think they would want to hear what I thought or how I felt about everything that happened, I thought that it would all leave my mind once I moved on, but it didn’t, it only got worse” Lloyd looked at Picani.

     “Well, Lloyd. I do agree with your friends, you seem like you don’t want to have intimate emotional relationships in fear of people ruining your trust like Harumi. You’re scared of people using you, so you believe that the only way to avoid this hardship is to avoid people and relationships all together. But you don’t realize that you need relationships and people in your life to talk to, because other people can give you different perspectives, different opinions and can notice things you don’t. As scary as building a relationship with the fear of someone using you is, you need people to help you fulfill your dreams, and goals in your life. That’s why I think your friends wanted you to come here, so that you could figure it out and hopefully help you get through your trauma and your anxiety” Picani stated.

    “ I’ll be honest Picani, I don’t really know what exactly I’m feeling sometimes. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, I want things to be easier for my friends and for my mother” Lloyd smiled as he attempted to explain his situation to his therapist, wiping away his tears with the tissue Picani gave him.

      “You will make things easier for your friends and your mother if you talk to someone about your problems. They chat with you about their dilemmas, correct?” Picani continued.

     “Yeah, I guess.” Lloyd said.

    “Well, I know they’ll gladly do it for you, I know you seem to have trust problems, so I think your goal needs to be getting comfortable with letting others know when you are not feeling like yourself. Being a hero facing your father both as a villain and as a family member is emotionally traumatizing, but as you continue to go through life you will learn to accept everything about your past, learn to understand the variables you have control and don’t have control over, and learn to slowly open up and hopefully find a significant other who sees what you’re going through. Lloyd Garmadon, you as a person are indeed someone who is kind, loving, accepting of others, and you will find a partner who will never use you. You have an amazing group of people around you, all that needs to be done is slowly getting more comfortable with opening to others.” Picani smiled at Lloyd “ Well, Lloyd that is all the time we have today”. Lloyd with a smile got to his feet and started walking towards the door.  “I hope all goes well with what I have suggested, and I hope I see you again” Picani nodded to Lloyd.

    “I hope to as well. Thank you, Doctor. I really appreciate it” Lloyd rubbed his right shoulder with his left hand.

    “You’re welcome, Lloyd. I hope to hear from you” Picani said.

    “Uh… bye” Lloyd walked out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door of the building.  In a parking spot there was Cole in the only normal car the ninja had. He opened the door.

    “Hey Lloyd, how was Picani?” Cole smiled.

     “Damn that entrance.” Lloyd chuckled. The two began laughing in the car together as Cole turned on the vehicle and started driving home.

Lloyd took a deep breath and looked out the window silently thinking.

_You are not just the green ninja, you are Lloyd. Lloyd is a human being that experiences physical and emotional pain. His problems and feelings are just as important as everyone his age, ninja or not. You will not be embarrassed about seeing a therapist. You are on the road to feeling better. Look at you, you’re already feeling better._

     Lloyd sighed proud of his accomplishment, the next step… apply everything he’s learned and make the decision to go back to Picani or not for a second session.


End file.
